April Fools Day 2015

I love April Fool's Day!  Probably because I enjoy practical jokes.  Nothing mean, nothing dangerous, just some good clean fun.  Having 3 kids, I'm never in need of a mark to play a trick on.  My kids know this, so as April First rolls around each year, their RADAR goes up.  So this year, I'm playing the long-con!

Ahh, the single serving DORITOS snack pack!

For the most part, our kids eat somewhat healthy lunches.  Rarely do we put something like single-serving DORITOS snack packs in their lunch.  So, when I took one of my daughter's to the grocery store on Saturday, as we walked down the snack aisle, I casually asked her if we should get a 6-pack of single-serving DORITOS for their lunch.

Instantly, she said YES!  It was on!  Of course, she had no idea that my CON GAME had started.  By the time we got home, she had already forgotten about the lunch treat and I stored them in the back of the pantry.

As we prepared their Monday lunches on Sunday evening, they didn't even ask (or remember).  They are so used to the same thing every day, it didn't even occur to them!

On Monday, I move the bag towards the front of the pantry so they can see it as they go about their afternoon and evening.  Their subconscious is working in my favor!  On Monday evening, as we're preparing Tuesday's lunch, one of them asks "Hey Dad, can we have those DORITOS in our lunch for tomorrow".  SURE, I say, knowing that a 6 pack will last 2 days--with April Fools' this year on Wednesday, it will give me just enough to get them hook-line-and sinker!

All the pieces are ready!

Monday evening, after they're in bed, begins the next stage of the plan.  I get out the rest of the DORITOS, the mini carrots, and my hot-glue gun.

Opening each packet from the bottom, I carefully pulled out the DELICIOUS doritos and set them aside (OK, I actually ate some).  I placed a few carrots in each packet, puffed them full of air, and glued them shut.

Ready to go!

I then placed the individual packets back in the big package, placed them in the pantry and waited!

Tuesday night, we're packing lunches for Wednesday (4/1) and they ask "Can we have more DORITOS?"

"Of course".  I grab the big package, and they each grab an individual serving and place it in their lunchbox, and then off to bed they go!

I did feel a little remorse in that here they will be at school, so looking forward to having delicious DORITOS and they'll be bait-and-switched into mini carrots, so I gave each of them a dollar to buy a 'snack'.  I told them it was because they had a half day and it was to celebrate the beginning of their Spring Break!

Ready....set....GO!

So, they're off to school as I write this.  I'll update after they get off the bus with the result!

AFTER SCHOOL UPDATE:

"Varenna, how was your lunch today?"  She spoke not a word, but her expression was priceless!

"Cracked Furnace Blues"

It's a Clinker! That blasted stupid furnace dadgummit!

Last Thursday we woke, ‘twas 30 degrees

That’s inside the house, felt like a deep-freeze.

I quickly called maintenance, “Get down here right quick!”

They're always real smart, know just the trick.

This time however, “The weather has defeated.

Unfortunately for you, your house won't be heated”

Those words from the heat tech, like a kick from an ass.

Make a decision, and make it real fast.

For this week was the coldest it’s been all damn year.

When we'll have heat, wasn't really clear.

I knew I was in for an expensive repair.

“How much it would be?” I felt such despair

Several quotes later, the temp in my house,

"Almost 40" said my dear, sweet, loving spouse.

The forecast, I’m dreading, will be less than zero

Our trusty old wood stove, was playing the hero.

A long cold weekend, then H-VAC experts arrived.

Into a maze of old pipes they lovingly dived.

Taken apart, and removed the old Clinker.

Sweating new pipes, like a well seasoned tinker.

Three days later, still without heat.

Was beginning to think of admitting defeat.

The blowtorch turned off, and pipes pressurized

For a moment I sat there, totally mesmerized.

Then came a drip, a pipe must have burst.

I gritted my teeth and prepared for the worst.

Seven in all, burst pipes that they found

Searching for more, we looked all around.

“To fix them all now, it's too late in the day.”

"We'll come back tomorrow" is what they did say.

More wood on the fire, we've hit fifty degrees.

Our friends are all saying “Come stay with us please.”

One more night in the cold, it could be much worse

The weatherman said "SNOW" and boy did I curse!

No school for the kids who by now go to bed,

dressed like an Eskimo from their toes to their head.

H-VAC experts come and get straight to their work.

If they find any more holes I might go berserk.

Slowly they test, no more holes are exposed.

Maybe this cold chapter will soon be closed!

Its starting to warm and I can now feel my toes.

At the end of my poem, but not from my woes.

For you see the ending, it comes with a bill.

And that my fellow reader is worse than the chill.

But it’s now getting warm in this old drafty house.

And I’ve finally got a smiling spouse.

My friends, they are real, these “Cracked Furnace Blues.”

On my enemies, this fate I would never choose.

I bid you good day and thank you for spending.

Your time reading this all the way to the ending.

726 Barrels of Oil!

The Town of Centreville's Solar Array has cleanly generated the equivalent energy as burning over 726 barrels of oil.

The Town of Centreville's Solar Array has been online since November 2013.  In that time, it has generated approximately 1,182,887 (as of January 13, 2015) kilowatt hours. 

You can visit the Town's solar array chart here:

How do we quantify how much solar electricity is this?  There is a neat online calculator where you can convert kilowatt hours to other energy units.

Go here to calculate it yourself:  https://www.unitjuggler.com/convert-energy-from-kWh-to-boe.html


Plug in the current kWh generated, and it will provide the equivalent number of barrels of oil.

According to econtrader.com, A barrel of crude oil can make about 19 US gallons of gasoline, 10 gallons of diesel, 4 gallons of jet fuel and another 9 gallons of other oil products such as liquid petroleum gas, plastics, lubricants or heating oil.

So, 726 barrels of oil can make about:

13,794 gallons of gas
7,260 gallons of diesel
2904 gallons of jet fuel
6,534 of other oil products

Thanks SUN!