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| It's a Clinker! That blasted stupid furnace dadgummit! |
Last Thursday we woke, ‘twas 30 degrees
That’s inside the house, felt like a deep-freeze.
I quickly called maintenance, “Get down here right quick!”
They're always real smart, know just the trick.
This time however, “The weather has defeated.
Unfortunately for you, your house won't be heated”
Those words from the heat tech, like a kick from an ass.
Make a decision, and make it real fast.
For this week was the coldest it’s been all damn year.
When we'll have heat, wasn't really clear.
I knew I was in for an expensive repair.
“How much it would be?” I felt such despair
Several quotes later, the temp in my house,
"Almost 40" said my dear, sweet, loving spouse.
The forecast, I’m dreading, will be less than zero
Our trusty old wood stove, was playing the hero.
A long cold weekend, then H-VAC experts arrived.
Into a maze of old pipes they lovingly dived.
Taken apart, and removed the old Clinker.
Sweating new pipes, like a well seasoned tinker.
Three days later, still without heat.
Was beginning to think of admitting defeat.
The blowtorch turned off, and pipes pressurized
For a moment I sat there, totally mesmerized.
Then came a drip, a pipe must have burst.
I gritted my teeth and prepared for the worst.
Seven in all, burst pipes that they found
Searching for more, we looked all around.
“To fix them all now, it's too late in the day.”
"We'll come back tomorrow" is what they did say.
More wood on the fire, we've hit fifty degrees.
Our friends are all saying “Come stay with us please.”
One more night in the cold, it could be much worse
The weatherman said "SNOW" and boy did I curse!
No school for the kids who by now go to bed,
dressed like an Eskimo from their toes to their head.
H-VAC experts come and get straight to their work.
If they find any more holes I might go berserk.
Slowly they test, no more holes are exposed.
Maybe this cold chapter will soon be closed!
Its starting to warm and I can now feel my toes.
At the end of my poem, but not from my woes.
For you see the ending, it comes with a bill.
And that my fellow reader is worse than the chill.
But it’s now getting warm in this old drafty house.
And I’ve finally got a smiling spouse.
My friends, they are real, these “Cracked Furnace Blues.”
On my enemies, this fate I would never choose.
I bid you good day and thank you for spending.
Your time reading this all the way to the ending.
